What’s the Big Deal About Boredom? Why Your Tween Needs It
As parents, many of us have heard the dreaded words: “I’m bored.” Maybe your tween has even repeated it so often you’ve felt a pang of guilt—like you’re not doing enough to keep them entertained. But what if I told you that boredom isn’t something to fear? In fact, it’s one of the greatest gifts you can give your tween.
In today’s hyper-connected world, where smartphones, gaming consoles, and endless YouTube videos provide constant stimulation, boredom has become almost extinct. But this "quiet time" plays a critical role in your child’s emotional resilience, creativity, and personal growth. So, let’s unpack why boredom matters—and why it’s okay to embrace those “I’m bored” moments.
Why Are Today’s Kids Rarely Bored?
While technology offers plenty of benefits, this constant stimulation leaves little room for something essential: boredom. And when kids aren’t bored, they miss out on opportunities to explore, reflect, and imagine.
While technology offers plenty of benefits, this constant stimulation leaves little room for something essential: boredom. And when kids aren’t bored, they miss out on opportunities to explore, reflect, and imagine.
The Science Behind Boredom
In a 2020 study published in Psychology of Aesthetics, Creativity, and the Arts, researchers found that participants who engaged in boring tasks performed better on creative exercises afterward. Why? Boredom forces the brain to seek stimulation internally, fostering imagination and new ideas.
Dr. Sandi Mann, author of The Upside of Downtime, puts it this way: “Boredom is like a reset button for the brain. It allows kids to process their experiences, develop resilience, and think more creatively.”
Why Your Tween Needs Boredom
Boredom isn’t just beneficial—it’s crucial for your tween’s development. Here’s why:
1. Boredom Fosters Creativity
When kids aren’t spoon-fed entertainment, they’re forced to use their imagination. That empty afternoon might lead them to build a fort, write a story, or invent a new game with their siblings. Without the structure of constant activities, creativity has the space to thrive.
2. Boredom Builds Emotional Resilience
Life isn’t always exciting, and that’s okay. Learning to sit with boredom teaches kids how to manage discomfort and find fulfillment in the mundane. It’s a skill that builds patience, problem-solving, and independence.
3. Boredom Encourages Self-Discovery
Without the distraction of screens, your tween has time to explore their interests. They might discover they love painting, gardening, or building models—not because someone suggested it, but because they had the space to find it themselves.
4. Boredom Promotes Rest
In a world of overstimulation, boredom provides much-needed mental rest. It gives your tween’s brain a chance to recharge, process emotions, and reflect on their experiences.
The Struggle: “But I’m Bored!”
Let’s be honest—hearing “I’m bored” isn’t always easy, especially when you’re juggling work, chores, and other responsibilities. The temptation to hand over a device or suggest an activity is strong. But boredom doesn’t need to be filled. Sometimes, the best response is no response at all.
What to say instead:
“It’s okay to be bored. I can’t wait to see what you come up with.”
“Being bored is part of life. What do you think you’ll do with your time?”
How to Create Space for Boredom
Here are some practical ways to foster boredom in a healthy, productive way:
1. Limit Screen Time
Set boundaries around device use. For example, designate certain times of the day as screen-free zones, like during meals or after school. Encourage your tween to explore other activities during this time.
2. Provide Open-Ended Resources
Offer materials that spark creativity without dictating how they should be used. Think art supplies, building blocks, or a box of random household items for crafting.
3. Don’t Over-Schedule
It’s tempting to fill every hour with activities, but overscheduling leaves little room for downtime. Leave gaps in your tween’s day for unstructured play or relaxation.
4. Lead by Example
Show your child that boredom isn’t something to fear. Model how you use quiet moments to read, journal, or simply sit and think.
Final Thoughts
Boredom isn’t the enemy—it’s an opportunity. By allowing your tween to experience downtime, you’re giving them the tools to be creative, resilient, and self-aware. It might feel uncomfortable at first—for both of you—but the long-term benefits are worth it.
So, the next time your tween says, “I’m bored,” take a deep breath and resist the urge to fix it. Instead, smile and say, “Good. Let’s see where it takes you.”
What has your child discovered when boredom strikes?
Food for thought ..
"When was the last time your tween or teen said, 'I’m bored'? How did you respond?
"What are some activities your child has discovered or enjoyed as a result of being bored?"
"Do you think we, as parents, feel pressured to fill every moment of our kids’ time? How do you handle that pressure?"
"What do you remember about being bored as a child?
